10 Funniest and Dirtiest Pick Up Lines

Top 10 Funniest and Dirtiest Pick Up Lines You Can Use to Pick Up Women

It’s always a mystery – will the pickup line actually work or will you just get laughed at? Most of the time, though, they don’t work. They’re just cringy. Sorry, folks. They have to be extraordinary, original and personal to work. However, they do work in making us laugh. So thank you for that, to whoever came up with these.

1. I hope you know CPR because you just took my breath away.

Cheesy, funny, or plain dumb? You decide.

2. I honestly never understood love at first sight, but then I saw you.

OMG! Could you be any lamer? But, don’t worry pal, we’re not laughing with you – we’re laughing at you. Women everywhere, on behalf of all the men on the planet – we give you permission to slap anyone who says this to you.

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3. Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got “fine” written all over you.

LOL! Okay, this one’s funny. Still stupid, though, but funny. Maybe you’ll at least get a courtesy giggle for it.

4. I should complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.

All right, gotta hand it to this one. It’s pretty good. It might not get you all the way, but it’ll definitely get you halfway. The other half is up to your, well, you know, other skills.

5. Every time I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul.

I’m sorry, is this even a pick up line? This is just plain pathetic. It’s like something a monk would say in all sincerity, only then it would make sense. Imagine actually saying this to someone as a pick up line? Don’t, just don’t. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life.

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6. I think my phone is broken. Could you try calling me to see if it works?

Honestly, if this doesn’t make her or him laugh (in a good way), then there’s something wrong with that person. This is a true player’s move.

7. My buddies bet me that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the hottest person in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?

This one gets a pass for sure. I mean, who wouldn’t want free drinks? And who knows, maybe they’ll lead to something else that’s free as well.

8. You’re so damn hot, my zipper is falling for you.

Dirty time, oh, yes! There’s a 50-50% chance here. She might throw a drink at you, or actually laugh if she has any sense of humour. Because, seriously, it’s hilarious. But only if the place is right and you’re both drunk enough. However, don’t ever try this at a picnic date or a coffee shop. That hot coffee wouldn’t feel too good on your face.

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9. Do I need to sign for your package?

This one’s priceless, right? Okay, it sounds a bit offensive, but, come one, it’s a joke. Or is it? If a girl tried this pickup line on you, what would you do? You’d say: no, ma’am, it’s a free test sample. And you should try it out right now because there’s only one left.

10. Are you an elevator? Because I’ll go up and down on you.

Again, the answer will depend on a lot of things. It’s a 50-50 chance. But, hell, you only live once. Try it out. Risk a little. What’s the worst that could happen? She, having a 7 feet tall MMA boyfriend nearby. What could possibly go wrong?

And now, since we’re in a good mood after all these crazy pick up lines, we’ll give you a bonus one -> That’s a nice shirt. Can I try it on after we have sex? No comment on this one.

Which one was your favourite? Also, check this embarrassing Tinder dates article.

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Kelly Wilson

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.” ― Mark Twain I am what could be considered a truth seeker, a news reported, or even to some a story teller. My version of the truth is what you will read. Its up to you to form your own version of truth. Respect Kelly

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