14 Subtle Things Abusive Parents Do – Fight Back

14 Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Parent

Physical, sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse can all be kinds of parental abuse. Certain kinds of abuse, such as physical abuse, are more obvious. Emotionally abusive parents do not provide their children with the love and support they require. Abuse in any form is damaging and may negatively impact a child’s physical and emotional well-being. Abuse affects one out of every seven children.

1.  There Is Little To No Privacy.

There is a big difference between a parent protecting their child from harm and denying them privacy. Parents need to provide age-appropriate privacy for their children. For example, allowing them to change in their own room.

Read On: Ways To Deal With Abusive Parents

2.  Emotions And Reality Are Being Invalidated.

Parents may invalidate their children’s sentiments by teaching them how to feel or by completely ignoring them. As a result, children would feel neglected and mentally disturbed. In the long run, children will struggle to trust their judgement and make decisions.

3.  Giving The Silent Treatment

Anxiety, aggressiveness, and other physiological impacts have been linked to silent treatment. They don’t want to enrage their parents again, so they’re nervous and unsure of what to do. A child’s behaviour will rise in some way over a time of silent treatment. He or she may retreat or do “desperate” things for attention as they become older.

See This: Signs Of People Who Have Been Abused

4.  Playing The Victim Card

The mother entangles the two identities by portraying the victim and holding the kid responsible for her life and deeds. Assigning or encouraging the kid to take on the role of saviour also enmeshes and obliterates the appropriate boundaries that should exist between parent and child. This is an issue that can last well into adulthood.

5.  Gaslighting

Personal gaslighting occurs when a parent undermines a child’s self-confidence and belief in himself or herself. This is the most pernicious type because it tricks you into believing that what you believe you know about yourself isn’t real. Anxiety, self-doubt, insecurity, paranoia, distrust, and even continuing the gaslighting cycle are all long-term repercussions of gaslighting on a kid.

Gaslighting parents, rather than being emotionally supportive, make their children feel worse about whatever tough circumstance they’re in—whether it’s a mistake, a failure, or a daily stressor, this conduct is indicative of gaslighting.

More: What Gaslighting Sounds Like

6.  Threats Of Violence

Parents that physically abuse their children are unable to manage their emotions and resort to violence, such as striking, kicking, or choking. Broken bones or bruising may occur in children. Abusive parents frequently teach their children that if their injuries were ever questioned, they would lie. Teachers, coaches, and physicians all play a key role in recognizing physical abuse since they are often the first to discover the indicators.

7.  Favouring a Child Over The Other

Favouritism can cause a child’s anger or behaviour problems, as well as increased despondency, a lack of self-confidence, and an inability to connect effectively with others. These issues can impact both children who have been favoured by their parents and youngsters who have not.

The unfavored child may feel disappointed and uninspired as a result of attempting and failing to acquire parental recognition and support. He or she may also be sad, which causes fury, bitterness, resentment, or jealousy.

Distressed children may act out in an attempt to obtain their parents’ attention, exacerbating the problem. They may also engage in inappropriate actions, resulting in them becoming the black sheep, which they assume their parents are already aware of.

Also See: How to Spot and Fight Gaslighting by Parents

8.  Being Overly Critical

Emotional and verbal abuse is far more difficult to detect than physical abuse, yet it is just as destructive. A youngster may be put down frequently by an emotionally abusive parent. They may, for example, label the youngster “dumb” if he or she receives a bad grade. These sorts of statements are common in abusive households, and they make a youngster feel worthless.

9.  Taking Control Over Your Finances

Children who make their own money may be financially abused by their parents. Many well-known examples include children who grew up in the entertainment business. Parents may pretend to have a separate bank account for their children, but the funds are kept in their own accounts. When youngsters reach the age when they can access their accounts, they may discover that their money has vanished. Parents who take their children’s money feel their children owe them money. It is not the obligation of the child to make amends for anything. Children, on the other hand, should be encouraged to acquire independence and learn proper money management.

10.              Emotionally Absent

Absent or unavailable is a catch-all word (not a medical term) for parents who are apathetic, emotionally unavailable, narcissistic, or otherwise exhibit self-centred and nasty behaviours that can – and frequently do – escalate into verbal and physical abuse.

When you’re forced to hide your feelings from an early age because your mother is emotionally unavailable, it can develop into mental health problems including eating disorders and other addictions. Without it, children are more prone to develop doubts, worries, a lack of confidence and self-efficacy, emotional emptiness, and even mental health issues including panic disorder, depression, and bipolar disorder.

Keep Reading: 7 Signs Your Dysfunctional Parents are Gaslighting You

11.              Using Guilt

One of the reasons that guilt trips may harm relationships is that they can lead to long-term bitterness. A single instance of someone employing guilt to persuade you to change your conduct may not have a significant influence on your relationship. Use of guilt trips regularly might make you resentful.

Apart from feeling ashamed or as if they don’t measure up, children might also suffer from poor self-esteem. They may also be more susceptible to social pressure and more prone to dysfunctional friendships and dating relationships.

12.              Humiliation

Emotionally abusive parents may use shame and humiliation to harm their children. They may repeat humiliating stories or use derogatory language in front of others. This is usually done in front of the child’s peers, causing embarrassment and hurt.

13.              Earning Your Parents’ Love

As a means of punishing or changing their children’s conduct, emotionally abusive parents may deny love and attention. While children require firm boundaries and discipline at times, punishing them by withholding affection can harm their self-esteem.

Must Read: What Is Gaslighting And How To Deal With It

14.              Taking Away Your Independence

Even when their children get older and are ready for more independence and autonomy, controlling parents seek to supervise their every step. They may restrict play dates or insist that a child continue an activity or sport even if he or she wishes to stop. This is a type of emotional maltreatment that restricts children’s ability to live freely and acquire vital skills as they grow older.

Also See: How Gaslighting Manipulates Your Mind

Aki Zhang
Aki Zhang
Dare to dream, then run towards it.

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