How to Spot and Fight Gaslighting by Parents / Loved Ones

Have you ever felt like your spouse doesn’t understand what you’re saying or your parents don’t listen to you? And for some weird reason, you are the one taking a step back to avoid fighting and conflict? If that’s the case, maybe you are being emotionally manipulated.

People are like puppet masters. For conscious and unconscious reasons, people from all parts of your life try to manipulate you. That’s not necessarily because they want to take advantage of you. They might just have a huge ego.

In any case, the manipulators have an arsenal of techniques in their side. That doesn’t mean they are good psychologists or observers of human behaviour on any conscious level. It means they have managed to get a grip on you somehow. And they are using that grip to make you do what they want.

Manipulation techniques.

Distraction is such a technique. Once you have the other person cornered, they will try and change the focus of the conversation. For example, they would suddenly summon a health problem which is bothering them. You, being the ethical human being you are, can’t just override that and you get softer. No worries baby, we can have this discussion another time.

Recalling your past mistakes is another method that allows your opponent to emotionally or mentally punch you by making you feel guilty. “Yes but remember when you said this and that and you were completely wrong? I forgave you back then and never mentioned it again”.  Now, you feel obligated to return the favour and forgive them back.

Denial Denial Denial

Denial is another form of manipulating what actually happened. If two people can’t agree on what really happened, how in the world can they determine who is right and who is wrong? If the other person doesn’t agree on the facts, they can’t really admit they’re wrong. How convenient.

Emotional Blackmailing is a huge one. It actually makes me sad each time it happens because it makes me understand that the other person thinks I’m in need of them. People don’t realize that you actually make time and space for them and that’s a choice made. They will often think they are in control of you.

Emotional blackmailing goes like this: “If you do x, then you can forget about me. I’m leaving you”. Or “If you don’t do x, I won’t be able to help you”.

Watch Out

Before we say goodbye, I will ask you to take a look inside your soul. Do you find yourself being a people pleaser? Are you unable to make big decisions without first asking everyone you know about it?

If you find yourself trapped in situations that derive from the above questions, there is a huge probability that you are being emotionally and mentally held captive by the people that are most important in your life. 

Dave P
Dave P
Be a little better today than yesterday.
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