If you are interested in BDSM sex, here are the best tips and the most common misconceptions! Also, find out why women are watching porn more than ever before!
The abbreviation BDSM does not mean only four words but can mean binding, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism. The BDSM lifestyle does not necessarily include sex. Most people who watched or read the series “Fifty Shades” have a wrong idea about the BDSM way of life.
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The point is that it excites the partners. That one of them has complete control over the other, with pre-defined boundaries. Apart from the fact that it doesn’t have to involve sex, this kind of relationship can also be complicated. Unless both partners have set clear emotional boundaries.
Buy a whip and handcuffs
But let’s just make this clear first – BDSM doesn’t have to involve any toys. However, it usually does.
It can, of course, if both agree, but it doesn’t have to. The excitement is in handing over control to the partner, who can, based on your agreement, apply minor “punishments” such as slapping the butt, tying you up or something like that. It is important to remember that at no time should either of you feel fear or discomfort but rather sweet anticipation and excitement. Details are a matter of mutual desire and props that you may use.
Submissives are weak
Quite the opposite. The submissives believe that the greatest gift they can give another person is controlling, not only in a sexual relationship but over their entire being. This means you will be completely naked in front of your partner, offer him your body and soul, and make yourself available for their pleasure. Not because you are weaker than them but because you are strong enough to do it, giving you the greatest pleasure of all.
Not everyone is into BDSM
The misconception is that anyone can be good at this (as well as other types of relationships, sexual or not). It is especially difficult to be an excellent dominant partner because it implies understanding, trust, and complete control over the relationship and oneself. Well-trained dominants can elicit obedience with just a look or a whisper, which is much sexier than yelling or brandishing a whip.
Dominant/submissive in sex
You would be surprised how many people have one “style” in their daily life and enjoy another in the bedroom. Many intelligent, successful, self-confident people enjoy being subjugated, just as many who seem more withdrawn can be excellent dominators.
More Reading: Facts About BDSM Sex That You Won’t Learn In The Movie “50 Shades Of Gray”
BDSM without sex
For many partners, BDSM is a way to keep the relationship alive outside the bed. Mental “games”, and challenges, especially if it is a long-distance relationship, are a big part of the excitement of such a relationship, reports Cosmopolitan.
BDSM in a relationship or marriage
It is a misconception that only casual sexual partners practice this – spouses or long-term partners can enjoy this way of life. If you are interested in BDSM, there is no reason not to bring up the topic with someone you’ve been with for a very long time and look for a new dimension in your relationship.
You can be both
Some people are excited to be on both sides of this spectrum. In one relationship, they will be dominant; in another, they will be submissive. As long as both parties agree, why not give it a try? Also, partners who enjoy this way of life often switch roles.
The security word exists and is used
However, it must be determined from the very beginning. There are both soft and hard boundaries. For example, an act that is sometimes OK but also acts that you absolutely do not agree to. You and your partner must strictly agree on that from the start. Trust is key. And it doesn’t always have to be a word since some submissives enjoy being gagged. Agree on a clear signal which cannot be accidentally misinterpreted or ignored, such as a hand signal or snapping your fingers.
Also see: Why Do Some People Have A Foot Fetish?
It can be dangerous
It is up to you to choose who you try BDSM with if you haven’t already, and it’s your responsibility to make that person the right choice in every sense. Meet people who have already tried, read everything you can, and do thorough research on the expectations and ideas of a partner. The goal of BDSM is to increase pleasure for both partners, not to lead to a problematic or dangerous situation. Your safety is in your hands.
The story and roleplaying excite
Believe it or not, talking is a big part of a BDSM relationship. Not only to create trust and establish borders and security words but also for a kind of foreplay. Two people in a BDSM relationship will often be in communication outside the bedroom. Because planning and fantasizing about the next meeting, as well as recounting and reliving the previous one, is something that excites them very much.
It’s different from what you imagined
It’s often like that with things you try for the first time in sex, but know that BDSM, when well planned and even better performed, can help you not only discover new sexual pleasures but also expand your sexual and mind borders and views of the world.
The best thing about this – believe it or not, many women are into this. Actually, it’s no secret that women also watch porn movies. Still, lately, they’ve gone “crazy” for certain types of adult movies.
Since the movie “50 Shades – Gray” came out, the search for porn films depicting BDSM sex on PornHub has increased by 40%, most of which are searched by women.
A team that analyzed searches for porn movies by gender said the percentage of women typing “submission” into the search increased by 219%, compared to a 49% increase among men. When it comes to the term “dominate”, the ladies are now searching 196% more than before, and men 32%. Porn films that show rough sex, with punches, are also increasingly in demand – “spanking” women now demand 158% more than before, and men 5%.
Hey, guess that’s not too bad for us guys. Kinky, kinky, here we come.
