Why You Shouldn’t Visit Australia?
Australia is a really great place to live and visit for a holiday its safe and fun, however, I will give you 10 genuine reasons not to visit Australia.
- Possums are so so cute you just want to cuddle them! Don’t they will rip your face off and scratch your eyeballs out nothing in Australia is what it seems
- Change government like the wind, the Australian government changes its leader at an unbelievably high rate. You could arrive in Australia a Democracy and it becomes a dictatorship overnight, just kidding but it’s hard to keep up with who is in charge.
- Roadkill, you can be driving along minding your own business and out of nowhere huge kangaroo hope onto your bonnet and your day just got a whole lot worse.
- The alcohol is crazy expensive, be willing to blow your entire budget on one night out on the grog. I remember when I first went to a bar and ordered a Pint of beer they guy said $15 and gave me a schooner, I asked if he was joking. He was not; I had table water rest of the night, no going out on 30 quid and getting hammered at the local.
- Down the road is not down the bloody road, Australian telling you something is down the road can be anywhere from 10 minutes to 10 hours’ drive. I have come to understand down the road means anything less than one full day’s travel.
- The level of service in many retail outlets is beyond my comprehension, it’s almost like Australian shops don’t want to help you find the product you need. With a few exceptions to the rule, you will find if a minefield getting any meaningful assistance in an Australian retail environment.
- Australian’s think their beers are amazing tasting however not for me. Anyone from a European background will likely find the local brews not to their taste, plus they cause evil hangovers! That could just be I am getting older!
- The call fruit machines pokies and I think this is a stupid name.
- If anyone asks you to go for a bushwalk increase your life insurance, I went for a little bushwalk and got back the next day having seen 3 different types of deadly snakes and getting a tick bite on my ass.
- Giant Centipedes are very very ugly and scary creatures, I was undertaking some enjoyable book writing and something fell on my leg from the back of the computer, I bloody freaked like hell when I saw a 30 cm go dam monster crawling up my leg towards my ball’s literally started crying. I called the pest control guy the next day, calm as the day he said, “ar yea they like a warm spot” I mean come on WTF how is that normal. Since then I have always checked behind my desktop before sitting down to write, was a total monster.
They are my 10 Genuine Reasons Not to Visit Australia if you do come, I am sure you will enjoy your stay, just be aware it isn’t all sunshine, beach and rainbows.
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