Tips To Feel Confident When You Start Dating Again

The article is developed in partnership with BetterHelp.

Do you get nervous before going on a date? That places you firmly in the same category as most people. Dating may be intimidating, especially if you’ve been out of the game for a long time, or if you’ve been hurt in a previous relationship. And it can be difficult to reclaim your romantic mojo after experiencing many wounds or disappointments.

But keep in mind that it’s OK to be a little apprehensive – the finest people are often.  So, before you enter the fray, here are some tips to adjust your negative mentality and boost your confidence.

Let Go Of Your Expectations

Going into a date believing you’ll find your prince or princess charming, it  can result in a series of disappointments and a great deal of pain for you when it’s not the fantasy you imagined.

We’re all aware that there’s a world of difference between a person’s internet presence and their true self. So abandon your expectations and approach the situation with an “I don’t care what happens” attitude and see how things pan out. Of course, abandoning your expectations isn’t code for “I’ll settle for anything” — but in the early phases, it’s beneficial to just let go and have fun.

Wear Something That You Love

Don’t try to impress with your attire; it will only make you feel more self-conscious. You don’t even know someone’s tastes when you first meet them, so don’t try to predict them. The only thing you need to know is what the date entails so you don’t show up in your gym gear for cocktails and canapés. Other than that, just dress for yourself, in whatever makes you feel nice and comfortable. That’s always more appealing, in any case. Read more about self-confidence and dating at

Be Mindful Of Your Body Language

Never underestimate the importance of body language: it reveals so much about who you are. So, stand up straight, walk a little faster, and smile genuinely and frequently. But don’t force it; you don’t have to pretend you find stupid or offensive jokes amusing. If you hear any of those, feel free to get out of there at your earliest convenience.

Shift The Conversation In Their Direction

Anxiety is fueled by our own perceptions of ourselves: how we look, what we’ll say, what others will think of us, and how we’ll be judged. In dating, this is a vicious spiral since the more we think about and scrutinize ourselves, the more anxious we will feel with a new companion.

Instead, try to learn everything you can about your date. By shifting the subject to them, you’ll relieve some of the burden on yourself. You’ll also come across as a person who is interested and involved. And you’ll start to learn some of the things you’ll be glad you asked about.

Play A Question Game

Ask your date five questions about themselves — not in rapid succession, as that would be unfair; simply five good questions. Allow them plenty of time to respond, then watch what occurs. Ideally, they’ll respond and then ask you about yourself and your life. If you haven’t gotten a response after five queries, you should read the room. Your date could be self-absorbed or uninterested in getting to know you. True, they might be hesitant, but dating is a two-way street, and it’s not your duty to draw someone out — especially if you don’t know them yet.

Let Go Of The Idea Of A “Type”

Sure, choosing someone who does not share your ideals is a mistake. But love comes in different shapes and sizes — and sometimes the “bundle” we thought was ideal for us isn’t. Keep an open mind regarding potential partners aside from your deal-breakers. Dating becomes more enjoyable and hopeful in this manner.

Remember Your Story Is Worth Telling

The worst belief you can bring into a new relationship is that this person will fix your life, save you from yourself, or make things better. They won’t since no one possesses those abilities. Instead, strive for a healthy, fun, independent life so that you can date without feeling obligated to do so and with the conviction that you are worth getting to know.

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