Chelsea Handler’s Top 10 Popular and Famous Quotes
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Ten of My Favourite Chelsea Handler Quotes 

Chelsea Handler, a writer whom I am guessing you love? Here are our 10 best Chelsea Handler quotes for you to enjoy. At Australia Unwrapped we believe every book has at least one quotable line, and our mission is to find them all. Here you will find Chelsea Handler’s top 10 popular and famous quotes. Like every good writer Chelsea Handler made a number of memorable quotes, here are some of our favourites: 

Popular Quotes

“Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.”
Chelsea Handler, Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me

 “Have you ever experienced a pain so sharp in your heart that it’s all you can do to take a breath? It’s a pain you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy; you wouldn’t want to pass it on to anyone else for fear he or she might not be able to bear it. It’s the pain of being betrayed by a person with whom you’ve fallen in love. It’s not as serious as death, but it feels a whole lot like it, and as I’ve come to learn, pain is pain any way you slice it.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

“Are you there vodka? It’s me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I’ll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.”
― Chelsea Handler

 “My mother told me that life isn’t always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

 “I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.”
― Chelsea Handler, Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea

 “Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.”
― Chelsea Handler, Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea

“Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.”
― Chelsea Handler

 “There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

“You know you’re a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself.”
― Chelsea Handler

“I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.”
― Chelsea Handler

10 Famous Quotes by Author Chelsea Handler

Quotes for all, here you found our selection of 10 Chelsea Handler quotes. Make sure you help by commenting your best Chelsea Handler quote below and sharing our favourite authors so we can look them up, read some of their works and give you the best quotes we can find. We hope you enjoyed our top 10 quotes by Chelsea Handler. However, feel free to comment below if you disagree or would like to include some other great and memorable Chelsea Handler quotes in our list. 

One Final Bonus – Chelsea Handler Quote 

“At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That event predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. Please. I fall ALL the time. You know who comes and gets me? The bouncer.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

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