10 Random Funny Jokes About Time – No Woke Jokes Allowed

Short Hilarious Random Jokes

Ready for a laugh? I have collected from around the internet some of the funniest random jokes on Time. See below 10 side spitting (or not) jokes on time.

Time Joke 1

“I asked my boss if I could leave half an hour early the other day.
He said, “” Only if you make up the time.””
I said, “” OK. It’s 35 past 50.”””

Time Joke 2

“It’s just taken me nearly four hours to eat a dozen watches.
It was very time consuming.”

Time Joke 3

“Today at work i have managed to get 8 casio watches on one wrist and 9 rolex’s on the other.
I think i have to much time on my hands……”

Time Joke 4

Maybe I’m not imaginative enough, but if I had a time machine, I think I’d just fast-forward to bedtime.

Time Joke 5

“I love the clocks going forward, it really brings people together.
Right now, up and down the nation, literally thousands of people are united in looking at their computer screen and their mobile phone and trying to work out whether they changed themselves automatically in the night or whether they are still an hour behind.”

Time Joke 6

“I sometimes wonder what I’d do if I ever got a time machine….
I guess I’d probably go back in time and stop myself from wasting time by wondering about something that’ll ‘never happen’, thus inadvertently preventing the existence of the time machine.
But then, if I prevented the existence of the time machine, how did future me come back in time to warn present me?
I guess the lesson here is that time is not linear, but a tangled web of intertwining events.
Oh, and you shouldn’t do acid.”

Time Joke 7

“I said to my mate, “”Did you know that the new iphone has a time travel app on it?””
He said, “”What, the Iphone 5?””
I said, “”No, the Iphone 37.”””

Time Joke 8

“Getting older is like a game of chess
It’s long, boring and I honestly don’t really know what I’m doing”

Time Joke 9

My mate text me yesterday telling to meet him at half six. Well I turned up at three and he was three and a half hours late.

Time Joke 10

I wish you were here… in my room… on my bed… with the lights off… under the blanket… so I can show you my new watch that glows in the dark!

Jokes on Time

Share your best time joke below.

Also See: 10 Random Funny Jokes About Transport – Jokes that Ain’t Woke

Kelly W
Kelly W
Dream big, play hard, take the wins and embrace the losses.
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