10 Random Funny Jokes About Statistics – Jokes that Ain’t Woke

Short Hilarious Random Jokes

Ready for a laugh? I have collected from around the internet some of the funniest random jokes on Statistics. See below 10 side spitting (or not) jokes on statistics.

Statistics Joke 1

79% of accidents happen in the home. Finally, good news for the homeless.

Statistics Joke 2

“A lady on a train was reading a newspaper article about Life And Death Statistics.
Fascinated, she turned to the man sitting next to her and said, “”did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?””
“”Really?”” he said, “”have you tried mouthwash?”””

Statistics Joke 3

“A report published by the Children’s Society today shows that 4/10 disabled children in the UK are living in poverty.
I think that is disgusting, and is proof of everything that is wrong in this country.
That fraction could have been simplified to 2/5.”

Statistics Joke 4

“A recent survey states that the average UK citizen is less likely to perform the polite gesture of holding open a door for a stranger than 30 years ago.
I suspect the introduction of automatic doors around 30 years ago is partly responsible for the shocking lack of respect displayed by this generation.”

Statistics Joke 5

“Apparently 50% of married people are unhappy.
Yeah, they are called men.”

Statistics Joke 6

“A recent survey suggests that most people choose their cars subconsciously, with fat people choosing rounder shaped cars, ugly people choosing weirder looking cars etc. etc.
Probably explains why my girlfriend just looked in the breakers yard at a car.
Its 10 years old & been smashed in the back end a couple of times.”

Statistics Joke 7

“Whenever I go with a new girl I like to measure how wide they can open their legs.
I put the results on a spreadsheet.”

Statistics Joke 8

“Nearly 60% Africans living in Moscow have been the victim of racist attacks, a study says.
Anybody else think they should work harder to reach 100%?”

Statistics Joke 9

“According to official statistics, the average person laughs 13 times a day.
They’ve never visited Sickipedia…”

Statistics Joke 10

I’m not sure if I have a low IQ or am just really bad at reading the score.

Jokes on Statistics

Share your best statistics joke below.

Also See: 10 Random Funny Jokes About Superstitions – Woke Jokes Cancelled

Kelly W
Kelly W
Dream big, play hard, take the wins and embrace the losses.
Stay Connected

Read On