10 Random Funny Jokes About Lottery – No Woke Jokes Allowed

Short Hilarious Random Jokes

Ready for a laugh? I have collected from around the internet some of the funniest random jokes on Lottery. See below 10 side spitting (or not) jokes on Lottery.

Lottery Joke 1

“My son asked me if I would buy him a new bike.
I said: “”Son, if you really want something in life you have to work for it.””
Then I told him to be quiet because they were just about to announce the lottery numbers”

Lottery Joke 2

For the first time in ten years I didn’t manage to make it to the newsagent to put my lottery numbers on yesterday, and would you believe it… saved myself a quid.

Lottery Joke 3

“My wife told me if she ever won the Lottery she wouldn’t give me a penny and she’d move out of the country.
Little does she know I’ve been using the same numbers as her for 5 years.
That’ll wipe the smile off her fat face”

Lottery Joke 4

“After winning the lottery I thought, the first thing I’m going to do is fill my car with fuel.
Then that dream was shattered as they announced that there had been two lucky jackpot winners.”

Lottery Joke 5

“My wife said, “”I don’t know what I’d say if you ever won the lottery.””
I said, “”Oh, there’s three little words that spring to mind.””
She said, “”I love you?””
I said, “”No… where’s he gone?”””

Lottery Joke 6

“I’m retiring early.
I’ve opened a pie shop next door to the new Euro Millions Lottery winners.”

Lottery Joke 7

“How’s my luck?
Last week my daughter announced that she was a lesbian and this morning I found my wife dead.
They say things happen in threes.
Well, I’m definitely doing Euro Millions on Friday!”

Lottery Joke 8

“My dog has just learnt the basics of a rollover.
He’s one step closer to presenting the National Lottery.”

Lottery Joke 9

“What’s the difference between the Euro Lottery and my six year old niece?
The Euro Lottery won’t be rolling over this weekend.”

Lottery Joke 10

“I never got the chance to say goodbye to my wife and children.
I won the lottery and jumped straight on a plane to Vegas.”

Jokes on Lottery

Share your best lottery joke below.

Also See:10 Random Funny Jokes About Little Johnny – Jokes that Ain’t Woke

Kelly W
Kelly W
Dream big, play hard, take the wins and embrace the losses.
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