10 Random Funny Jokes About Farming – Jokes that Ain’t Woke

Short Hilarious Random Jokes

Ready for a laugh? I have collected from around the internet some of the funniest random jokes on Farming. See below 10 side spitting (or not) jokes on farming.

Farming Joke 1

“I’m struggling to find the best way to get my baby goats clean and ready for the village fete tomorrow.
Does anyone know of any good internet sites where I can get tips on grooming kids?”

Farming Joke 2

“My girlfriend recently told me that I remind her of a penny because I’m two faced and worthless.
Needing to respond with quick wit and intelligence I told her that she reminds me of a cow… because she looks like a cow.
Needless to say I’m now single.”

Farming Joke 3

I’m the kind of guy that likes to tease his house plants by watering them with ice cubes.

Farming Joke 4

“In a countryside field a sign reads….
“”The Farmer allows walkers to cross this field for free, but the bull charges”””

Farming Joke 5

“I couldn’t get my tractor back home from work today.
I drove into a magnetic field.”

Farming Joke 6

“I’m not trying to impress you but,
I own a tractor.”

Farming Joke 7

The vet said to the Irish dairy farmer “I’m sorry, it’s bad news. All your cows have Blue Tongue. The farmer replies “Bejaysus….I didn’t even know they had mobiles!”

Farming Joke 8

“Why don’t sheep use tampons?
They’re worried about toxic flock syndrome”

Farming Joke 9

It annoys me how farmers always have to put their gates in the muddiest part of the field.

Farming Joke 10

“A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint.
He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.
However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem – how to carry his purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost.
She asked, “”Can you tell me how to get to Mockingbird Lane?””
The farmer said, “”Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can’t carry this lot.””
The old lady suggested, “”Why don’t you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand; put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?””
“”Why thank you very much,”” he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he said, “”Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time.””
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, “”I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?””
The farmer said, “”Holy smoke lady! I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?””
The old lady replied, “”Put the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens.”””

Jokes on Farming

Share your best farming joke below.

Also See: 10 Random Funny Jokes About Family – Non Woke Jokes

Kelly Wilson
Kelly Wilson
Dream big, play hard, take the wins and embrace the losses.

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